New Year Resolutions?

 

At this time of year most of us tend to think about changes that we would like to experience over the coming year.  Often our New Year resolutions are driven by dissatisfaction with weight, health or lifestyle so we set about making ‘deprivation’ intentions for ourselves and hope we get through it.

 

In a recent study, psychologist Dr Richard Wiseman found that only a quarter of us ever achieve our New Year goals.  Significantly, those who succeed are the ones who made a plan.

 

A goal without a plan is a wish.

 

Step 1.  Specifics

Decide what you would like to achieve this year. This is quite different from deciding what you want to ‘give up’. It’s about an attitude of giving something to yourself, rather than taking something away.  If you end up with a whole list of things, ask yourself “which will make the greatest difference to me” and then choose one.

As much as is possible, try to make your goal something that you want to do, rather than something you should do.

 

Step 2. Motivation

If you don’t lock in to a real motivation, it will be harder to achieve the goal. When exploring motivation, avoid telling yourself what you don’t want and emphasise what you do want.  E.g. “I don’t want to be fat”, or “I don’t want to die young” could be more helpfully expressed by “I want to be slim” or “I want to be healthy”. 

 

Why do you want it? How will you benefit? What will be the best thing about it? Who else will benefit from you achieving it?  Who will be surprised when you achieve it?

 

Get a piece of paper and write a list of 10 reasons why you are really looking forward to achieving your goal.  Each reason should be written as:

I am looking forward to (goal) because……………………..

When you have the list, put it somewhere prominent so that you have a daily reminder of what you are looking forward to achieving.

 

Step 3. Plan

Once you have your goal, think about it in more detail. How achievable is this goal? Does it need to be broken down into manageable steps to give it a better chance?  If so, what are the steps? Are you realistic with your target?  Be clear in your mind about how long it will take to fully achieve your goal.

 

E.g. – If you decide to get more exercise, it would be unrealistic to set a target of running 20K a day from Jan 1.  It may be that you could tell yourself  ‘by this time next year, I will be able to run 20K a day’.  Look at your current level of fitness, be realistic about fitting a daily run  into your schedule, and decide on what is achievable in the short term. As that fitness improves, you can modify the plan.

 

Step 4.  Resources

What do you need in order to achieve your goal?

If you are going to get fit, do you need any equipment?

If you are going to lose weight, have you got an eating and exercise plan?

If you are going to get your finances under control, where will you get advice?

If you’ve decided to watch less TV, what will you be doing instead?

If you’ve always associated smoking with being able to relax, how else will you relax when you don’t smoke?

Don’t forget that other people are a wonderful resource because they can support and encourage you.  Enlist the support of helpful friends or family.

 

Step 5.  Obstacles

Consider the possible obstacles that may thwart success and spend some time planning how you will avoid or overcome those obstacles.

 

Step 6.  Measuring

Some goals take longer to achieve than others and this can make it harder to stay focussed.  If you have decided to lose 2 stone by the summer, set up some shorter- term, monthly or weekly goals that will help you to measure and appreciate your success.

 

Whatever your goal, keep a clear thought about how you measure your success and appreciate the benefits of your efforts. Focus on what you are getting out of it rather than on what you are doing without.

Keep referring back to your 10 reasons why you are doing this.

 

Step 7.  Flexibility

One of the most common reasons why people stop trying to achieve their resolutions, is that they have a day or two of failing and then figure they’ve blown it so may as well stop.  When making your plan, include a realistic flexibility that allows for the odd day when you can’t or don’t feel like it.

 

Step 8.  Acknowledgement

Remember to congratulate yourself for your efforts, no matter how small they may be. If things get a little difficult sometimes, focus on what you have achieved rather than what you haven’t.

 

It’s all about a state of mind. 

If you would like some help with making changes this year, call me to discuss how Solution Focused Coaching and Hypnosis can help you.

 Have a wonderful 2010.