Use of Hypnotherapy to resolve issues in sexual relationships.
Many couples or individuals will experience sexual problems at some time in their adult life and it can be an extremely sensitive issue, for a number of reasons.
Before embarking on the use of hypnosis, psychotherapy or any other psychological help for sexual problems, it is important that you have ascertained that there is no physical reason for any current dysfunction. Make an appointment with your doctor or clinic to check for any health issues if you are in any doubt.
Seeking help for any sexual problems that are present in your relationships can be a daunting prospect and most people find it embarrassing to talk about.
You may decide that you would like to get help and advice as a couple so that you have mutual support from each other and also to feel confident that you are united in your approach to resolving the issues.
The sexual response in human beings depends on a number of physical systems within the body as well as gender specific biological psychology. It stands to reason therefore that men and women are likely to have different underlying causes of difficulties when experiencing sexual dysfunction.
For a long time now, the concept of male sexual dysfunction has been accepted but it is only in recent years that it has been accepted that the same problem can exist for women. The age old perception has been that women are moody, or frigid or just not interested in sex. For some, that might well be true but those women are unlikely to view the problem as sexual dysfunction.
There are a number of strategies and helpful interventions that can help to re establish function and find enthusiasm and pleasure. If you would like to talk to me about how you would like to benefit from these, please call me.* You can arrange to have an initial free consultation, which will give you an opportunity to consider if I am the right therapist for you.
Please be aware that I do not work with men for this issue as I feel that there is more to be gained from working with a same-sex therapist. However, my colleague Christopher Fish has a wealth of experience of working with male sexual dysfunction and would be happy to take your referral. Read what Chris has to say and visit www.christopherfish.co.uk
In the words of Chris Fish:-
Few things have the ability to cause psychological distress in the way sexual difficulties can. When problems arise, men will often stick their heads in the sand, keep quiet and hope that the trouble will go away or resolve itself. Unfortunately more often than not this doesn’t happen.
The most common enemy of enjoyable sexuality is self-consciousness and performance anxiety. An added pressure is that men can feel that this problem somehow reflects badly on them and feel unnecessary shame. Male sexual problems are very common; most of us experience some kind of difficulty in our sexual relationship at some time. Often the scale of the problem is unreported simply because men rarely want to admit to a difficulty in that area. There is especially common in the middle to older age group.
As well as making babies, sex is a source of pleasure and intimacy. It should be enjoyed and, like food, nurture and satisfy. It is a way for couples to share mutual pleasure and for them to cement a healthy, enjoyable relationship.
The spectrum of sexual difficulty ranges from a complete absence of sex, to ongoing limitations and frustration. When desire becomes focused on the performance, problems arise. Sexuality, sensuality and desire are driven by a wish to connect, whether for procreation or relationship. Thinking about performance, or having concerns about past difficulties is a sure fire way of subduing the natural flow of sexuality.
Worry or anxiety will always ’pull rank’ on desire so the solution is to untangle the place where worry and desire have become knotted. This results in a more relaxed attitude to sex, sharing and pleasure. This is its natural state – no blame, no performance, just enjoyment and sharing.
Viagra and Cialis
These work by restricting the ‘backflow’ of blood after the penis has become engorged. It can certainly add a bit extra help as it provides a degree of positive feedback. At its best it can ‘kick-start’ sexuality but this is probably limited to a problem of short duration.
Importantly Viagra is only effective where there is desire. Desire is not simply the stimulation of nerve endings. It involves the subtleties of imagination and anticipation and this is why hypnosis is so effective.
How will hypnotherapy work for you?*
After removing from the picture any physical, relational, or life issues (stress), relaxation is the key because it allows the brain to create different associations.* General relaxation is not sufficient as it needs to be directed at the unconscious level, the level below conscious thought because it is thought and tension that are generally creating the problem. Because each person is different, relaxation needs be specific and unique for each man.
It could be that you are actually a generally a relaxed person and have a satisfying life in other areas. I had a client who was genuinely ‘laid back’. I knew that offering general relaxation wasn’t going to help. The relaxation needed to be targeted at the automatic or subconscious level, the level below thought. With hypnosis my client was able to reconnect the resources of calm, expectancy, excitement and pleasure with sex. In this way a natural pattern was re-established which had become hijacked. For this man a seven year period of sexual austerity ended. The consequence wasn’t only an enjoyable sex life, it reinvigorated and reaffirmed the relationship with his partner.*
*Disclaimer: Please be aware that the results of any treatment will vary from person to person and no specific guarantees are being made. Mary Condell always endeavours to give her best work to each client with a commitment to the best possible outcome. Please call to discuss any queries or concerns you may have.